I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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