But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
