I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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