My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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