Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
