I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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