If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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