Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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