brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
