Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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