lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
