What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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