It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
