I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
