I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we're making bets on your personal life
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
