i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
