i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
