A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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