haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
