Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
third nipple confirmed
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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