So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
