i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
