5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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