worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sext me about skeletons
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
