he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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