She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
