so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
