Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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