my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
