I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
