that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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