How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
