Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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