I must be too annoying 4 u.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
