My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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