I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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