these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
