I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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