allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
