I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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