found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize