I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
