Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Drunk is a universal language darling
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
