I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
