Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
