RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
