you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
