I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
