I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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