you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
